I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
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