I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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