she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
