Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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