Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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