Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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