Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Randomize
