he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
