I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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