Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
