last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
