is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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