everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
