The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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