these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
