Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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