i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
