And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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