garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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