Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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