you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
