Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
