who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
This is my gift to your gina
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
