Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
