Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
we made out on top of his cat.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
