yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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