Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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