You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
