So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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