Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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