I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
