is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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