i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
