I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
