As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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