nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
