You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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