when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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