I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
