I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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