And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
A+ Viking dick
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
