isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize