why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
