Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
