did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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