My cat gives me a boner
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
