i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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