he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
