i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
