someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
too bad you live with your parents still
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
