Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
