tell your sister to shave her snatch
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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