Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
