He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
