Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
