i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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