omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize