You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
