alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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