Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
