Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
