True but thats because hes a fetus.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
