walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
